Ellen .... in October....YIPPEEEE!!!!

So I popped on the scale this am and 219---wow balls...thats a new ten's spot!  Of course it could be because I was overfilled yesterday and didn't drink anything until 3:00pm ..... but then I had........a chocolate milk shake from mcdonalds....yes ...I was bad...and felt guilty but it tasted good...then had to hit the gym...so even though the gym really just burned off the shake I quickly went back to eating better...well I kind of had to I was on shakes rest of day.

So yep, got an unfill of .3cc  so I am at 4.5cc in my band and I think this is it people...no fills scheduled anytime soon...hope this lasts awhile.

I think I managed to weedle my way into going to the Ellen show with Jen from What you looking at skinny? and can I say I AM SO JACKED!!!! I have always wanted to go to an Ellen show....I spun around the house last night on cloud nine already wondering how much I will weigh by Oct 11 and what I will wear!! YAY!!!!

So we head up to Flag tomorrow for the fair and I am really looking forward to it..so much cooler!

Hope you all have a fab weekend

All kinds of Tight!

Hate even posting this..because it seems my mantra after every fill.  BUT I AM TIGHT.  Yesterday I had 3/4 of  a protein shake for breakfast and 1 cup of broth for lunch and only 1/4 protein shake for dinner...and water...thats all I could munster after my fill.  I slept fine no reflux--which was great.  So today I watch it.  I am hoping I consume more today but if not I guess it will be an unfill for me on Friday.  I am such a fill sensitivity girl, its usually swelling for a couple days...why can't I be more the norm?!

I have a sick kid he stayed home yesterday and today.  There is no school on Friday or Monday.  We wanted to head up to Flagstaff for the fair cause its only suppose to be 76 instead of 113 like it is here...and its more of a small town fair rather than the gang shoot out fair here in Phoenix (I refuse to go ever since a girl died on the ferris wheel from a stray bullet from a gang shoot out)..and that was many moons ago.  But Johnny had such a blast at the North Dakota state fair I thought it would be fun....no fun if he is sick.  We pre-bought tickets too so we are doing everything we can to get him well enough to go Saturday...should have known colds always come down the first two weeks of school!

Woke up this morning to 220----holy cow onederland is so close...I am just giddy.  I always said I would be jacked once I was down to my lowest weight 219 that I achieved during HCG dieting and I am almost there.  Loving this weight because it seems to really show itself and change me almost on a daily basis.

Hubby found out his bro is getting a divorce.  That sucks.  He just got married, I don't think it has even been a year.  I hate to see that because I know his bro wanted to start a family and this girl was just too young and not ready...like the last.

The golf cart is still not running, hubby found out the break needs replacing...when we started it and it leaped forward...yikes!  but the bolts are all rusted on there and its an awkward spot to saw them off.  Glad its not me out there.  But I am dying to take it for a spin!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend...heres to me getting some nice fitting panties...I need them!

Fill Room Chat...

So I got my fill yesterday....had to wait 2 1/2 hours because the doctor was behind.....yee gawds I hate waiting.  While I was sitting in the waiting room I talked to a guy who had been banded since 2009 but was there because he had terrible acid reflux and was gaining weight.  He had dropped from 450lbs to 280 but was up to 340.  He said he didn't know why and if he had to have his band removed he would just die before replace it with another band....OMG really?  He then said how he lives on an Indian Reservation and quality food is hard to come by(um...excuse) and that he had to eat everything with Mayo and Butter(umm...excuse) and that food on Indian Reservations is different than other places(umm..excuse) so I just did a lot of biting my tongue...and wondered should I have called him out?  but I don't think he wanted to hear it.  He said he goes thru a jar of mayo a week (OMG really)  Then he says how he exercises all the time and nobody in his family is overweight(don't by that either).

So when do you be real and when should you keep your mouth shut?  I guess I gave examples of what I do and what I ate and the tools I use but kind of just got tired of talking to him because he is not being real.  You have to change what you eat.  No it is not easy.  Yes it probably takes more work than before.  When you exercise you have to get your heart rate 70-80% of max heartrate to really get any significant calorie burn.  I guess I felt he expected his band to do the work and that he did not have to... but it was kind of depressing to listen to him almost give up without really ever trying.

Doc gave me .5 after looking at how many calories I was eating and what I was eating.  I hope its not to much but he really lectured me to eat slower and take smaller bites....and I am REALLY going to try to watch that.

Anyway today is Boobs Challenge weigh in
Last Week Weight 226
This Week 221
Total Weight loss 5lbs

HOLY CRAP PEOPLE!!! 5 Lbs  yeah!!!!!
So my trend during this whole challenge has been I lose wieght every other week.  My body seems to hold onto it for as long as possible and then dumps it.  Every other weigh in has been a no show but then followed by a large number!  I am so glad I didn't say WTF and binge or not work out....otherwise I would never have seen that 5 lbs and I love the way I feel.  I love the way my clothes are loose.  I love seeing my fingers and toes thin out.  I love the energy I have (even though my muscles are tired).  I LOVE THE WAY SKINNY IS FEELING.

Fill Day!

So I am literally busting at the seems in excitement for weigh in day tomorrow.  I peaked again..cause I am having another "I feel skinny day" and wowser this is going to be a great week for me.

Last night at the gym I was feeling a little tired so I was not going to run..but you know what I walked for 30minutes and then decided to just let go and I ran for 20minutes and it was a feel great workout..left with a bounce in my step.  I can't believe how energetic I am today(although it could be because Johnny slept all night so I got uninterrupted sleep..haven't had that in awhile)

I get a fill today and I think after talking to MandaPanda that I will ask for just .25  I feel really close to the green zone.  Still consuming more calories than I would like some days, and I don't want to struggle as much as I do in the evening.  I know this next fill will probably eliminate being able to have my yogurt and granola in the am but I am ok with just a shake.  Kinda hard to think that I will reach green zone with 4.8 in my band but I guess if that is what works right now.... that is why I should quit comparing my band size with others!

I seriously need new underwear.  When running last night I ended up with a thong and they are not thong panties......I still have my size 10 underwear and they are so granny panties.  I need to go buy some because I am getting some serious chaffing going on.  Currently I have the rash under my boobs from my bra---have had that all month.  And now I am getting rash under butt and between legs...so much loose skin I really need to keep everything tight.  Hubby thinks I need some underarmour under things...he may be right.  I can really see how all this loose skin is hard to keep dry and rash free...especially with my running.  It does scare me to wonder how bad it will be in another 30lb loss--yikes!

AZ Blogger meetup!

So I missed my Friday post.....took the day off of work and turned out to have a great day.

I worked out in the AM on Friday and Saturday in order to get my exercise in for the day and I forgot how much I enjoy working out in the morning...more energy...done with it....only 1 shower for the day.  I ran my butt off and had the best times because I was energized.

We had family in from out of town Fri-Sun...I was amazed how tight I got..totally must have been stressed.  Sunday, I opened back up so I really do know it was stress.

Met some fellow bloggers on Sunday and we chatted for over 2 hours...I think the waitress wanted to throw us out.  We literally gabbed, giggled and told stories it was WONDERFUL.  If you haven't already seen the pics I will show below

Me, MandaPanda, Elizabeth

All of us!

Kelli, Amy, Jen

We had a blast.  Amy brought some things for us to try --granola bars---her Kale chips and even had some Whey Protein...that was such a tiny purse carrying all those items!

I then had to call a halt so that I could rush home to work out and shower before another dinner party I had at 5:30pm
But I got my exercise in all week 7 days of cardio and heartrate at almost 80% of max  so I did peak at the scale(whore that I am) and saw a significant loss...so I am jacked to weigh in on Wednesday this week!

Exercise Demon struck!

I did not want to work out yesterday...I was being all mopey on the weight loss (or lack of) thing and it was cloudy going to rain..I just wanted to pop some popcorn(major slider) and watch a movie...but as I was sitting there suppressing the guilt...because I did feel guilty and hubby and johnny asked me when I was going to leave I told hubby I was tired and didn't want to.  He didn't say anything except he was tired too.  Then I decided to text MandaPanda...because I was hoping she would say --- go ahead you could use a rest.  BUT NO she told me I was discouraged....GO TO GYM.   She was right.  Then she said "but its days like this that will make you feel extra proud that you did it"  Again---dang her for being right.  So I thought...well I will go change..which I did and drug myself to the gym.  Once I got going...I felt good...those running endorphins kicked in and I left feeling PROUD of myself.  It was one of my toughest days in months to get me to the gym.  I sent her a pic when I was done just to prove I went---now I don't post sweaty pics...but I am proud of this sweat.

So its another day and I am hoping to make good choices again today.

I am especially proud of my booblet roomie Sophie who was highest loser this week in the BOOBS challenge at 4.2lbs  WAY TO GO!  She has been struggling with issues that make it painful for her to exercise  yet she pulled an amazing number!

I will not throw tantrum...I will not throw tantrum

Last week weight 226
This week weight 226

NO LOSS

WTH people.  I hate my scale and dang it mad at my body too.  ARGG

So last night at the gym  I was tired.  I was only able to run 20 min and walk 45(uphill carrying my grandma--I jest) My legs just felt like logs.  Not sure how long it is going to take to do this running thing because my body sure tires out easily.

It rained cats and dogs last night...in fact some items are missing from the yard...I am going to have to inquire the neighbors if it blew into there yard.

Food has been actually pretty good..calories are about 1350-1500 which I know is higher than 1200 where I would like to be but the exercise does make me hungrier and I am not sure if it is the fact that I need another fill or what(scheduled one for next week)

Today I have to sort thru some medical bills and see why my insurance is not paying all of it...I hate doing that but I am trying not to stress because 9 out of 10 times the doctor submitted it to insurance wrong and once I step in and work as middle man it all works out.  But I have a $4500 anesthesia bill for April and one fill where the insurance is reviewing it another fill where the insurance paid $790 and they say I may owe $1100...now that seem a tich high for a fill ($2000?) but we will see.

Thats it for now...hopefully tomorrows post is more upbeat

Food...dirty four letter word!

So my booblet Sophie over at petticoat had me thinking about this.  I have recently been thinking that my exercise is key to my weightloss...but that statement came from someone who was not exercising until recently but a few of you bloggers out there...um...Ronnie...reminded me that food is actually more key than exercise.  I didn't want to admit it...but it is.  I can totally undo my exercise by eating too many calories.  DANG IT.
Why is food such a battle?
Why can't I love vegetables and protein?
Why must I crave Carbs and Fat and Sugar?

I peaked at the scale today...even though weigh in is tomorrow...it showed no loss...I swore....like a sailor.  It put me in a bad mood as it usually does.

Switching gears....

So I have really been trying to change not only my eating habits but my families...and boy is that tough.  Hubby is tough..he is skinny...and a horrible eater.  He can eat pizza three times a week, ice cream, cookies and never gain.  But Johnny and I not happening.  So I try to tell him that we just don't have his metabolism and I don't want Johnny to pick up his unhealthy eating habits.  So I have limited him and Johnny to one treat to have in the house a week.  They can have it once a day.  Any other treats hubby has must remain out of house.  This has been working so far on my binge candy raiding and cookie raiding I was doing in the pantry.  I have also been doing fruit as a desert in the evening.  I have done parfaits using low fat cool whip---THEY LOVE it! and Cold watermelon and salt--Johnny and mines favorite.  And I just introduced Johnny to smoothies..he loves them..in fact he said I could skip ice cream next week he would rather have a smoothie---score!  Now I totally get that its easier for me to introduce Johnny to this he is 5 and his habits have not been going on for too long...a teenager would be a lot harder.  I am hoping I can change them but dinner is not always working.  Every other day we eat the same thing but some nights I eat differently than I do for the rest of the family.. partly out of convenience...I get tired and lazy after work and working out and I don't plan great meals.. I resort to macaroni and cheese and hot dogs(for them not me)---cringe...bad mom.

Switching gears again.....

So we started a challenge with the BOOBs girls.  And I pledged that this week I would up my running to 30minutes from 20minutes.  Apparently, I should have done this sooner...or bought my shoes sooner.  I ran for 30minutes and walked for 35minutes...I felt fabulous.  Last week I  ran two days for 20minutes and then the rest of the week I recovered from that.  I am going to shoot for 30minutes of running again tonight..because I am not sore---yay and I don't feel tired---yay again!

So I am still hoping for at least 1 lb loss tomorrow but I am going to try not to throw a tantrum and cause my hubby grief if I don't.....

Weekend bad food choices....lets start the new week FRESH!

Reflecting on my eating this weekend.  It was not good.  I tried to pack some stuff to take up north to scrimmage but we got seperated from our cooler and I ended up having a frozen lemonade(300 calories-oh holy crap) and a handful of reeses pieces---OMG candy? Really?  Then had mexican food for lunch...yikes...I tried the posale soup which is my favorite so I was not too bad.

My hubby was gone all weekend after scrimmage helping his grandparents with the hospital and such.   Johnny and I went and got new Nike's...I wanted to try some brooks but they are just too spendy.  I did get a really nice pair of Nikes at kohls and I had a 20% off coupon so that was great!  They are bright pink...must get you a pic
Johnny got himself a pair of tie tennis shoes(normally they are velcro so he can do it himself...but really at 5 he should know how to tie shoes)  I signed him up for basketball basics and tennis again so these will be great for that!

Then Johnny and I went to the pool...yes I burned but in a calico way...you can see where the sunblocked kinda worked...sheesh I look weird all blotchy...I used some spray on sunblock but should have rubbed it in.

So its a new week.  I am back to packing my lunch and setting myself up with better food choices...lets hope it works.

A.S.U. Scrimmage in the Mountains!

So I don't normally post on the weekend but just happened to be missing you guys so I got on to check up on blogs and thought I would post a quick one!

So we went up to Payson for the ASU scrimmage game yesterday...it was a great day but it turned out a little warmer than I thought!  It was beautiful but we had to walk 1/2 mile up hill after we parked and then 1 mile down to the field...luckily my hubby carried Johnny cause he got tired(that would not have happened if I had to carry him...I mean he is 60lbs)  but getting there was a little work...leaving and walking 1 mile uphill about killed me and I have been walking uphill at the gym....this morning my calves are on fire.

Got a great pic with Sparky!

and I thought this was cute...I carry the camera so there were no photos with Johnny and I...I need to change that because I wish I had one...I thought I looked cute in my new tshirt

Then later that night my hubbys grandpa had to go to ER and hubby spent all night there with them and is headed back again today.  When you are 90 something everything starts to fall apart!  Hope you are having a great weekend!

Logging Exercise and watching the progression!

Thanks for all my well wishes and congratulations yesterday..it sure uplifted me to see the emails come in.  Blogging has sure enriched my life!

So I exercised yesterday...thought I would hit the CC(country club chickas!) but Johnny fell asleep right after school and didn't wake up.  I tried...let me tell you I tried.  We were also invited to Pasta Night at the CC but alas...me and PASTA is always a no-go...I won't even go there anymore...same with PORK...just about the only two things I will not even try to eat.

Guess what...I was rested yesterday so I had energy to do my fast pace...I did not run...thought I should give body one more day of somewhat rest...I think it is hard on my body to run with all this weight and it tires me out...I need to pace myself if I am going to make it doing 60min of intense exercise each day this month!

I also noticed..don't put your fitbit on your shoe unless you want to impress with fitbit calorie benefit.  I normally get a 500-600 calorie benefit from my fitbit steps but when I put it on my shoe...it gave me 1200 bonus calories...I know I did not burn that many...that was on my tired day, day before yesterday...I was trying to keep my fitbit dry because I think I burn them out.  I put some plastic on it yesterday and it stayed dry...you see I sweat..everywhere and am pretty much a soaking wet noodle when I am done...not a dry stitch of clothes anywhere.

Another thing I noticed, part of this challenge is you have to log what exercise you do and for how long and what your heartrate was....this has been fun.  I have watched myself improve almost daily...in order to keep my heart rate up, I have to keep increasing my resistance or speed...its awesome and I think even more rewarding than logging my food.  One thing I noticed is that I can get my heartrate up pretty quick and I can recover almost 10 times quicker than when I started.  If you get a chance, I know its a pain, but it is cool to see the progression.

Well I am off for the weekend from blog land...hope you all have fun..its nice and cooler here in PHX..less than 100 projected all week.  We are headed up to Payson,AZ to watch ASU scrimmage---I have my hot new ASU shirt that I will be sporting and the weather is suppose to be in the 80's LOVE IT!

6 month bandiversary

Wow, can't believe its been 6 months!  What a journey.  I would never have guessed everything that has happened to me and my band in the last 6 months.

Starting Weight 267
Current Weight 226
---------------------
Total Weight Loss 41lbs

I still have 76lbs to lose to get to my goal.  I am still shooting for 100lbs loss at my  1 year and I think it is doable.

Truth be told I thought the worst battle was getting approved by insurance and getting my band..but that was the easy part.  The work once I had my band has been challenging.
1.  Getting fills to get to green zone....I am still not there...not sure when that will happen.
2.  I got a fill last night .5cc and that brings my band total to 4.3cc total
3.  I was hungry as hell last night and I consumed 2000 calories.  I was also completely tired.  I went to gym but I struggled and I mean that I had 2.0 incline and only could muster 2.5-2.7 mph on the treadmill for an hour and my heart rate was UP?  It was crazy I have never walked so slow but felt like I was at 4.0   I am attributing this to one tired body.  I think all this exercise is catching up with me.  Normally I would take a rest day but I really want that body bug so I am going to push thru to the end of the month.  I may also be battling a bug..my throat is sore and I feel some congestion
4.  For me, every fill is a learning experience.  What I once was able to eat is on watch after another fill because you just get tighter and tighter.
5.  Weather, stress and TOM affect the tightness of my band.  Also way tighter in morning than night.
6.  I must plan my meals and snacks to be successful.  I make bad choices when I don't do this
7.  Track my food.  I am not accountable when I don't track.  Even when I track I find that it is hard to write down everything I eat.  It takes time and diligence.
8.  Exercise is key and making sure you get your heart rate up.  I say exercise is key because I lose inches with exercise.  I can fit into smaller clothes than another person who weighs the same as I do but does not exercise.  I am almost in a 16...most people at 226lbs do not wear a size 16.  
9.  With exercise, I eat more and I need to make sure what I eat does not sabotage the good work I have put in...I AM TOTALLING WORKING ON THIS.
10.  I take a multi vitamin and have since day 1 on this...I don't take any other vitamins.  I hate taking vitamins and am just proud that I at least take a multi vitamin
11.  I get cranky and emotional.  Now that food does not pacify me, I find myself very moody and emotional A LOT.  I think food mellowed me out and learning how to deal with my emotions is tricky.
12.  I thought the surgery was expensive---LOL its all the fills and maintenance.  The amount of money I have spent is CRRRRAAAZY when I look back at all the bills insurance has paid the surgery is becoming less than all the other things (port flip-resurgery and fills....I have had over 10 and each one gets billed at and paid $750).
13.  Blogging has been a bigger outlet than I ever thought it would be.  I am so happy I started blogging.

So I took TTT a little further than 10 things today..but I think its doable being my 6month and all.

I was at the Country Club dawrling.....

Weigh in Last Week 229
Weign in this Week 226


YAY!!!! I lost 3lbs...I know to some that is not much for 2 weeks but I love it and will take it.  Today I go in for a fill.  And I plan on voicing that I want .75 - .50  I don't want a whole cc.  Hopefully this will start to curb my appetite.  I have been eating 1500-2000 calories but I have been working out like a maniac.  I did more running yesterday  upped it to 4.1 for 20min and the other 40min was at 3.6-3.7 at 2.0 incline

Got new tires for the golf cart...hubby got batteries...now I need to upholster it.

This weekend we are going to Payson to watch ASU football scrimmage game....should be cooler(MAJOR PLUS THERE) and fun thing with our friends.

Last night after we picked up johnny from school his best buddies mom said we should take them to the pool so I said sure but when we got the community center the pool was closed for a swim meet.  She told us to follow her to her country club and we can swim there and I can workout.  I said ok so we followed her (across the street into the country club) boy oh boy was it nice...guess this is how the other half lives! Ha!

The locker room was so posh..couches, tv's eucalyptus steam room, massage room...then the pool had a guy playing steel drums, covered cabanas and cushy recliners..a grill with a guy making hamburgers and hot dogs...old ladies in part of the pool doing pool aerobics...just lovely.  I went to the gym...not a sole in there!  Holy cow usually I have to get early to get the good machines...not here  all the machines have tv's and towels and bottled water by them---crazy nice.

So tomorrow its back to the local gym but it was a nice visit!

Increasing my pace at the gym to keep heartrate up---SCORE!

So I have not been running at the gym since my doc told me to layoff until I lost more weight.  But I reached an impass last night.  As you all know I am in a challenge to workout 30 days this month and to keep my heartrate up...I shoot for 150.  Well I was having a hard time keeping it up at 3.5pace at a 2.5 incline so I last night I did 5 min at usual and then 5 min at 4.0 (running slightly) and I kept this up until 45 min then I switched to 3.6 pace at 3.0 incline.  I was sweating like crazy and yeah my heart rate hit 180 and I had to drop it...I read you don't want to keep your heart rate at max but rather do 70-80% of your max heartrate in order to lose weight.  So 20min of running was about 1 1/2 miles I was thrilled...granted it was not all in a row...but I will get there!  Must note...need more glide..the shaffing under my teets is terrible I have a red line in front where my bra sits and its a little raw.  Oh and my ankle did hurt last night.  I had a plate and pin and some screws put in when I broke it in college and it acts up when I run, wear high heels, or a rain storm is coming in(seriously, I am like grandma betty telling everyone a storm is coming!)

So I may have peaked at the scale this morning because I just felt thin today....you know when you wake up and you can feel it in your bones....well I saw a 3lb loss but I am not counting it until tomorrow(if that scale goes up I am throwing it out the window and running it over with my car)

I had a good laugh this morning hearing Taylor Swifts new song We are Never Ever Ever getting back together---lol! that was great...how many times have we all said that!

Oh and hear is my punkin on his first day at kindergarten

Weekend Over...Goals Fulfilled....Check!

Wow!!! Is the weekend over?

It was great.  I worked out BOTH days!!! On date night we went to batman.  I was a little disappointed and maybe it was because I had to sit in the front row because the movie theater was PACKED...really hasn't this been out for some time?  Why was the movie theater packed at 3:00pm on Saturday?  CRAZY
I will say it did creep me out when two guys went out the emergency door down  by the front row...I had Colorado visions in my mind---ughh

I just didn't think the characters developed that well.  

I bought a coffee and that is all I had at the movie theater...hubby had popcorn with butter, hot dog, and twizzlers and mountain dew...ughhh  but I just sipped my coffee and reminded myself that I do love my hubby--lol!!

I went to lunch with a couple friends...one has the band...the other the sleeve.  I don't see them often and I try to keep in touch  but boy it was cool to see there progress...we all kind of had our surgeries at the same time.  They look great.  The girl with the sleeve has lost 80lbs and literally she looks younger and I can't believe how pretty her face is.....she is going to be stunning when she is done.  And the bander is the same weight as I am now but she has lost more...she looked great too.  We giggled gossiped and had a fabulous lunch comparing stories....I loved it!  Hope we get to do that again...there is just something about being able to relate and share weight loss stories without feeling guilty or holding back!

Today is first day of kindergarten...I am so proud of my little hunney bunney he is so excited to go even though him and his bestie are split up in different classes!

I am loving the BOTD...it is so cool to read up on everyone!  If you get a chance go the boobs blog and check them out!

TTT---its been awhile since I did this!

Thanks Laura Belle for TTT
1.  I have exercised everyday this month except on 8/3.  I have exercised at least 60-70 min each day and kept my heartrate at 140-160 for 60minutes.  You see there is a challenge at my Weight Loss Center that if you work out for 28 days this month and keep your heart rate within range for 60min you get entered in a drawing for a free body bugg....I SO WANT THIS!  I have been increasing my time and incline and I should be at a run by the end of the month...I am up to almost 4miles a day.
2.  I may have had a crappy day and ate some chocolate chip cookies yesterday.
3.  I am buying me some new running shoes this weekend.
4.  School starts Monday and I can't wait this week has been tough watching Johnny and working from home.
5.  I am planning on working out Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon.
6.  My mom is watching johnny overnight Saturday...I would like to do something with hubby Saturday just not sure what yet.
7.  I am planning on making some mushroom/potato soup today.  Because I LOVE MUSHROOMS
8.  I can't believe how quickly September BOOBS is coming.
9.  My stalker gym guy ran on the treadmill yesterday next to me...he did not say anything but hello...
10.  I am not sure what I am going to do in Chicago...I have no plans...maybe I should make some?

Its a new day and I love myself :)

Chelle kind of hit on this in her blog...attention is it wanted or not?

 I have been hitting the gym and there has been this guy that keeps working out on the machines next to me and seems to always be walking by me or looking over at me.....I used to see him at circle K in the mornings getting coffee but now my hubby gets my coffee so I don't go there.

It is awkward for me.

Is it all in my head?

Is my ego getting out of control.  Well I decide I am anxietal over it and it makes me feel uncomfortable.  I don't wear my wedding rings to the gym because it hurts my hands lifting weights, but yesterday I wore it and...he wasn't there.

I need to learn how to deal with this either in my head or in real life.  I don't want to have anxiety on how to talk to guys who make passes...I don't have this problem with women, well women have not been making passes at me...well one did but it did not cause anxiety.

On another front.  I am going to pay attention to snacking and keep on at the gym and hope for results next week.  My hubby reminded me how awesome I was feeling before weigh in.  How I am enjoying how I look in new clothes and just generally feeling better with more energy...he is right...I need to celebrate this weight I am at and what I have accomplished because this is an awesome feeling and it is only going to get better because I want it to and I am dedicated to make it happen.  It may not happen as fast as it does for some but I will get there

So today is a new day and I am feeling better about myself---score 1 for me!!!

No loss...just plain sucks!

Trying to think of a positive blog today---I don't have one.
Weigh in last week 229
Weigh in this week 229

NO LOSS

Nothing positive to say here.  Apparently I need to review my food log and be honest with any undocumented snacking because I should have seen a loss with 6 days of exercise.

Goal....12min mile by end of year!

This week is super hard for me.  I am working from home this week because little Johnny doesn't start school until next week and summer school stopped last week...so I have really been trying not to munch and snack...which is what I do at home.  I did go to the gym last night...I will admit I did not want to go, so I bought some new music to motivate me---it worked I went and sweated up a storm

Today is Kindergarten home visit so I have been busy cleaning..she will be here in about an hour(early I know) I am a little nervous...really want her to like us. and I am sure that will depend on how clean our house is <shaking my head>

My nails are growing super long right now..either I am not doing enough work around the house or that extra protein I was taking is kicking in.

Ronnie set a goal for herself to run a 10min mile by the end of the year.  I ditto that.  I have always wanted to run a quick mile...wait...must clarify...umm my goal is not 10min(thats just plain crazy talk)  I was going to shoot for 12min mile by end of year.....ummmm shame face here is only hitting 16min miles right now.  I do 3 miles each day at gym.  I did increase my incline to 3 from 2 yesterday---wow I felt that in my calves!

I had to answer some questions for BOOBs to be in my write up---SO SCARY!  Hope I was witty enough or at least made sense!  She asked for my favorite blogger---THAT was tough.  There are so many I enjoy seeing in my reading list.  I had to pick the one I always go to first!  But in reality I enjoy quite a bit and some of the new bloggers get me thinking which is why I enjoy them.  I also follow a lot of runners and as I like to think of them as athletes.  They keep me motivated to exercise--which you all should know is key to this weightloss thing....yes food is important but exercise will push you further than you could ever go with just food.  So I am putting this in my header so that I can easily see this post in the future and be reminded of my goal!  I challenge each of you to set up some goals and strive to make yourself better!

NSV and Accountability Weekend!

So accountabillity first!
1.)  My eating was great all weekend.  I kept it within reason...no splurges.
2.)  I did not work out on Saturday... I just couldn't do it.  I was busy all day and tired.
3.)  I worked out like a champ on Sunday!

So I am pretty stoked for weigh in this Wednesday.  I am on track and should bring in a loss.

Now on to some GREAT NSV's  I just felt thin this weekend.  I don't know what it was, maybe the clothes I wore but I felt good.  I felt like I could sit comfortably in all chairs...(I taught sunday school and had no problem getting in and out of the preschool chairs)  My clothes were all comfortable and loose.  In fact, I wore a shirt I bought on my honeymoon 8 years ago...felt awesome(I had to rewash it because of the dust on it, yes the dust...from sitting in my closet).

Even styling my hair seems simpler.  It doesn't seem to take me as long to make my face look thinner...which is how I try to style my hair...it just seemed easier!

I also think I will do the NEON Splash run in October with my other fellow AZ banders..that is if I don't chicken out..but I think that would be a good one for me to do and strive for.

I cleaned out closet again and moved stuff from my thinner girl closet, not much left in there.  I may soon have to start buying clothes...and guess what...that has me excited.

I love this weight, this is now a fun journey.  I am starting to lose weight where I notice it often and that is great.   I am not sure but it seems that leaving the 230's and that loss of close to 40 lbs is what is doing it.

Sorry Cheri!!! I did not lose a follower afterall!

Boy Cheri had no idea how many people noticed missing bloggers!  Glad to have you back!

So I worked out again last night--felt awesome.  I have been working out above the gym instead of the pool and watching basketball.  This has been kind of interesting to see the boys playing.

Work has been really busy so this will be a short blog so I can get back.  Summer camp is done and school doesn't start till the 13th so we have Johnny home with us, luckily my work is letting me work from home until the 14th so that we can watch him.  Not sure what other people do?

Food choices have been the bomb!

Adorkbl(sorry don't know real name) told me to come up with a plan for the weekend to set myself up for success--duh why didn't I think of that.  So Saturday I am doing weights and Sunday I will do some more cardio....I think keeping exercise going will bring the good diet choices? its  a thought right?

So no plans for the weekend just trying to not eat everything in site!  Hope you all have a fab weekend!

Lost a follower....dang it!

Guess my ramblings were to boring for some--

So I went in and got my slight unfil.  He took out 1cc which brought me down to 3.8cc  I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER and then he weighed me and I had lost 4lbs from the day before...hello water weight.  Not counting it because I did not drink most of the day yesterday..unfill was not until afternoon.  We both agreed that 2cc at fill time was too much.  I swell a lot after fills so my fills need to remain smaller.  Then he told me to quit the light muscle milk--too much fat.  He did approve of my premier shakes, which is what I have been using mainly but I am still using up my muscle milk(I had bought a big jug of it at costco)..  Get such a different perspective with another doctor.

Hit the gym last night----almost didn't but got a nice reminder from MandaPanda!

Had some awesome potato and mushroom soup last night(pureed) and it was fabulous..might have to go to AJ's and get some more today.

I am wearing some pants I haven't worn in over 10 years---feels great!  Still pretty jacked to be in the 220's
onderland seems to be getting closer and closer---dare I dream?  wow...got goosebumps just thinking about it.

Last day of summer camp for Johnny..he is bummed.  A lot of his new friends are not going to his school and he is seriously bummed about it.  Hopefully he makes some new ones this year at school.

We had a wicked storm up here in Anthem a couple days ago so we spent last night cutting down the trees that fell over--we were spared but out neighbors big 20ft tree fell over and onto our fence.  We helped him cut it down and place it by the curb...sucks though because the tree offered awesome shade...not sure what we are going to do now may need to plant our own tree there.

Glad its almost the weekend but a little scared too..I do great during the week but weekends are tough for me food wise and exercise wise...going to try harder because I am loving the weight loss right now.

And guess what....I am nearing my 6 month mark on my surgery.  Can't believe it is almost here...august 16th will be the day and I am hoping I will be close to the 50lb mark by then who knows though.  I really would like to hit 100lbs on my surgiversary and it does seem doable.   Met with my nutrionist last night and he reminded me that since the end of May I have lost 27lbs which is my most weight lost and that was pretty much after my port revision and when I started to get fills so hopefully that weight will keep coming off.

Am I an idiot on these fills?

So I truly feel like I am not getting it.  I had 2.8cc in my band and I went in for a fill yesterday because I was eating more than 1 cup at a time--more like 2 cups and it was only keeping me full a couple of hours.
So I go in and Dr. D gives me 2cc to bring me up to 4.8cc now that is still less than 5.65cc I had before my complete unfill so I think its aggressive but who am I to say anything.  He has me drink water and it goes down no problem.
As the night progresses I feel tight but I am not eating solid foods so it does not stand out.  Then night time comes and I have terrible acid reflux---the gurgling kind---the kind that wakes you out of slumber because you think you are drowning...the kind when you are too full---uggghhh
So I am going to call this morning and get a slight unfill----maybe I swell a bunch after a fill?  Its really frustrating because I have to take time off work to go in for all these fills---I kind of think its crazy how many fills I have had.  I remember originally my doc said that most patients get 7 fills a year---well I have gone past that.

Any words of wisdom?

Boy did we get storms last night...my mom had 2 trees blow down---big ones 30 ft high.  My father in law had 3 trees blow down...luckily ours are all still standing just have quite a bit of water still in the yard..oh and the doggie door in the laundry room ---should have shut that because the room flooded in a matter of 30 min--the rain was crazy! and hail.

Oh and weigh in this week...this is for 2 weeks because I was on vacation last week
starting weight 235.5
weight today 229.0
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Loss of 6.5lbs---yay!!!!  that is the biggest loss I have seen and I did it on vacation and with just a slight fill..exercise was the key  I really believe that!!!