Weight Tracker

Friday, April 26, 2013

Getting Ready for a Birthday Party

Well its birthday weekend.  I am doing my best to get this house ready for the party.  I got 12 kids RSVP'd for the party so far.  I think having it on Sunday did detour some people..but that is ok with me!
Food has been pretty good and exercise is still happening.

There has been a lot going on personally that I don't want to delve onto in here but I am thinking about trying a trial separation with hubby, I have just been pretty miserable at home and don't think it should be that way.
You should know I am serious when Johnny and I would have to move in with my mom.(Guess I would really lose weight then!)
Hope you all have a great weekend!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Weigh In Wednesday..Yay! a Loss!

Weigh In Wednesday

Last Week 172.5
This Week 170.0
Total Loss 2.5

MAN SO CLOSE To 160's   I was hoping I would hit it but I guess this is not the week.  I was happy to see the loss, especially because I went out to eat so much this weekend, and last night...
Its the dogs birthday today...we actually do a little celebration..buy him a pupcake and a dog bone and the whole nine yards..Johnny loves it.  I think he loves it because he know his birthday is a week away.  I still have a lot of house cleaning to do until the party..but I am kind of waiting until last minute because my house gets dirty quick..doesn't take much.  The floors are really the worst..I swear they get SOOOO dirty.  Mopping once a week is a must..sometimes I sweep twice a week.  Grass seems to get tracked in by everyone.  Hubby and Johnny got me a cute couple of necklaces..One is a heart and the other is a tag that says BELIEVE..I also got  a gift card to Kohls and a new journal.  I LOVE it.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

42 and proud!!!

So its my birthday today...I am 42..Yikes..can't believe I am 42..I still feel like my 20's at times.
I remember last year at this time.  I was recouping from my second surgery to fix my port. I remember thinking yay me....sitting there, was this going to work, at this point I was doubting it because I hadn't really lost much weight and I was a couple months out from my original surgery with no fills and eating pretty much anything.  I was pretty down.  I wish I could have told myself to relax and realize that I would be 170 at my next birthday..down almost a 100lbs, I would be living in size 10's flirting with 8's  I never thought I would get here...I had hoped to be under 200 but I always had doubts.
Well I don't have doubts anymore.  I did not give up...and there were many times I wanted to.  I kept doing what I saw so many other successful banders do.  So for my next birthday..I plan on being at goal at 150.  I plan to be at maintenance and I am looking forward to this new year and new me.  I think this is going to be a challenging year for me, but I am ready!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Does weight resituate..over time

I am sitting outside enjoying the sunshine....I  must let you know...because summer is coming and then I will be holed up inside the house with the A/C cranked...yes my A/C is running now..I don't like it above 80 in the house :P
I had a lovely weekend  meeting up with some friends for lunch.  I met up with my first friend on Saturday, she had band done same time as me, looked great..didn't recognize her its been about 3 months since I seen her.  Although she says she had only lost 4lbs in that time her weight looked different..like it had re situated itself.. I wonder if weight does that?  I would love to do plastics but I am not sure if I want to wait a year after goal and see what everything looks like.  Her daughter got the sleeve done same time as us...get this she  was 467lbs and she is now 189..she did just got back from Mexico getting new boobs, tummy tuck, arms and something else trimmed up..but that is an insane amount of weight she lost...she is a just a shimmer of what she used to be.
On Sunday, I had another great lunch with my bander blogger friends...Jen and Elizabeth..we tried a new place Chelseas Kitchen..in Arcadia and I was not a fan of the place..and it is famous...I thought my food was bland.  I didn't even ask Jen and Elizabeth what or how there food was....we gabbed the whole time...almost 2 hours of gabbing...I love them girls

Thursday, April 18, 2013

long hair gets everywhere....

So I have been growing my hair long since I started my journey..not sure if there is a correlation but I seem to think I need to be thing with long flowing hair...lol!  Lately I find that hair everywhere.  I had a strand I pulled out of the back of my pants...not knowing it was journeyed thru my butt crack and hooshie crack..lets just say pulling that string of hair let out a whoop!  I get globs of it catch the drain everyday..I usually have to clear the drain every other day.  Hairbrush I clean once a week..and the hair on the back of my shirt that I clear off before I walk out the house...at times I wonder if I am going bald..but I don't notice any difference in thinness I think with it so long I just notice it more..short hairs fall away..long hairs get wrapped around everything.  I also find that now that I have lost the weight I don't sweat so much at night..I used to wake up in the middle of the night and have to change my shirt because it was soaked....that has not been the case, which means I wake up and my hair is dry. bonus!  Well sorry to boar you to tears!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

No loss Wednesday

Last Weeks Weight 172.5
This Weeks Weight 172.5

Stayed the same.  I would say that a plateau was in order..but in reality..my food has not been spot on.  I have indulged in more than a few items I should not...BREAD and my calorie count was higher this week.  I wish I could have a few bad days and still lose...but my weight is so tightly tied to my calories.  So back to concentrating on my protein.    I am going out to lunch a couple times this weekend and my mom is taking Johnny camping so we have a date weekend...this is going to be a challenging weekend for me to stay on track with food.  I hate when I go out to eat a bunch..the calories are always higher no matter how hard I try to keep them down.  I will increase the exercise in hopes of counterbalancing the calories.

Oh an EGD is when they take a camera down your esophagus and check out your band to make sure no slips or enlarged pouches or dilation in your pouch.  Its just done by my office yearly to make sure the band is looking ok.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Random Pants Tuesday

Random Tuesday.

1.) Friday we hung out with some friends and their kids..the kids had a blast..we put up a tent outside and bbq, smored and shot off fireworks..it was good fun....I call the lady the bush master because last year at the pool she had so much hair down by her privates it was overflowing outside her suit...I know gross..visual..eh?
2.) On Saturday I met my friend Jay at Wildflower bakery and had the potato soup..It came with two hunks of bread..didn't think I would could eat it...not a problem when you are sitting talking for 3 hours...and eating it slow...but boy that bread was nummy
3.) I bought two pair of size 8 pants well one is a pants..one is capris.  I got them on..but have a bit of a muffin top so I need to drop about 10lbs I think to be comfortable in them.
4.) I am taking this Friday off to go thrift shopping...I am in dire need of some shirts ...I am really short of shirts and with the nicer weather I have even fewer short sleeve shirts.
5.) I mailed in my check yesterday to the state..yes..I waited until the last possible second.
6.) My work left a case of diet coke in the break room and said take what you want...I took 2 cans...I don't drink soda because it gives me a wicked shoulder ache...why did I grab 2?
7.) My doc said its time for my yearly EGD..that requires an unfill and then a outpatient procedure and then you start to put your fills back...it took me so long to get green I don't want to do my EGD..thinking about putting it off for another couple of months...

Friday, April 12, 2013

Back when I was 319......

So I got the book LapBand Girl talked about...even though I didn't win it...well it was only 1.99 to download onto my nook....really how can I bitch about that!

I read it last night...its a short read.
It was a really good easy read...as she said..I think I need to read it again.

The major thing I picked up in it.  RELISH THE NSV's I don't do that enough.  I feel like its bragging and that I may even jinx it if I talk about how great I feel.  But I need to change that.  So I got my fat picture out

here I  am at 319 in 1993 in Cancun....If you recall.  I started out on this journey at 267 but that is frankly after my HCG diet I was on.  I really started out at 319 and then I lost a 100lbs on HCG and then started to regain which freaked me out because I always start to regain so I called the Weight Loss Center about the LapBand(I was tired of this weight and when you gain...you always gain even more than when you started and that scared the shit out of me)...So I was a little burned in that picture above..I think we had done a booze cruise that morning and I was drunk and sunburned..but to me that was heaven
I remember that girl at 319..she was miserable.  I could barely fit in some chairs.  I hated myself.  I felt out of control.  I used food as a friend because I was living in MN and I didn't have a lot of friends..I had moved there out of college and to make up for the lack of friends and family..I ate..and ate a lot.

Well I know I share a lot of my emotional struggles, but I want you to know that I am so much more comfortable in my own skin.  Just moving around is easier.  Back then I just wanted to be invisible...I wanted to be left alone.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Do you have a plan to combat your bad food choices?

You know it makes me wonder when I see other bloggers blog about bad food choices.  I see them blog about it but I don't see a plan following it.  Its almost like they think that they will just have better will power next time the urge hits.  I don't think this is a smart move on their part.  You really have to figure out why you did it in the first place and then make sure you have a whole arsenal of ways to stop it from happening again. Possibly, bring more snacks, don't let yourself get so hungry, don't drive there in the first place, call a friend, text a support buddy, go running...something.  There is a reason we make bad choices, especially after we have been doing so well...and everyone is different so its important for us to figure it out for ourselves the facts of why we do it.  I always carry a protein bar with me..my favorite is the questbar..its tastes great microwaved for a few seconds

The peanut butter and jelly is good too warmed up.  I also have a serving of nuts in a baggy in my purse and a crystal light drink packet with a bottle of water in my car... because usually I am just thirsty.  Sometimes I get so far as to be in a drive thru lane...If I get there..I usually want something so I limit myself to one item, and then promise exercise when I get home.  Sometimes I just call my friend and talk to them..because the craving usually hits when I am driving or watching tv.  I am not saying this always works, but you wouldn't believe how many times it does work!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Am I still the strong woman I used to be...

Last Weeks Weight 174
This Weeks Weight 172.5
Total Loss 1.5lbs

Slow and steady wins the race....

Yesterday while I was out walking on my lunch break I noticed I have gotten more timid now that I have lost the weight.  When I was heavier I knew I could take down just about anyone.  Shoot I was bigger than most.  Now when I am walking I am constantly looking around and making sure that I am not walking in an unpopulated area..its a weird feeling.  I don't know quite how to put it or analyze it.  Did I damage my self esteem by losing weight..that seems like a ridiculous thought.  Yet, as I peel back the layers during this weight loss I seem to  'see' myself differently and I don't see myself as this strong person anymore..I guess I see myself and all my faults more clearly?  I have always been proud of my accomplishments at work and I have let that define me, but anymore work is not who defines me...I am not really sure what does...and is that because my weight defined me and now I don't really "know" me....

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Updated Photo and a day in my belly

Boy did it get cold yesterday..I have a feeling it is one of our last cold days until after summer..so I LOVED IT!  Plus the rain just washed everything clean.
Thanks again guys for all your support.  I sure do enjoy reading your journeys and getting your feedback!  Sometimes I wonder what it was like before my blog...life was different...I was different.
I decided to post a pic because I think its been about 10lbs since my last picture post.

Of course its a bathroom shot...and these are my 10 jeans from my last post...cause I LOVE THEM.  My top is a Medium.  I am sporting a 172.5 today so I am feeling pretty good and excited to soon hit 160's.  I am kind of waiting for a plateau..I had a bad one in the 190's so I imagine one is headed my way soon.  I haven't gotten a fill since the beginning of February and I still feel this is my green zone.

I have successfully weened myself off of coffee in the morning.  I noticed the acidity was giving me heartburn so I am now just having water or a glass of juice.  I do miss my starbucks but I don't miss the extra calories. If I do bring back coffee I would like it to be black with no creamer.  I have days where I am tight and days where I can eat anything.  My tight days are related to allergies, stress, if I fight with hubby..I tighten up instantly..If my mom comes over..I tighten up instantly, TOM..that is when I go back to soups and shakes.  But on the other days I eat my usual 1/2-1 cup of food at meal time.  I am pretty snack free, just eat my meals.  Last night I had taco meat, with fatfree sour cream and hot sauce with a sprinkle of cheese.  Slice of watermellon for dessert.  For lunch I had chilli.  I did have some popcorn during the Basketball game last night, but only about 1 1/2 cups.
It gets a little mundane to talk about but I do still log my food on myfitnesspal.  I do still wear my fitbit and try to get my steps in over 10000 everyday.
What do you do to be accountable?

Monday, April 8, 2013

Sugar dumping...bad......

What a crazy weekend.  So took Johnny to the zoo with his class on Friday...just so happens that other schools had the same idea...so 20 bus loads later and a deposit of 2000 kids we were ready to rumble.  Holy smokes I was exhausted after spending all day there...you would think Johnny would be too..and maybe ready for a nap...ummmm.no go...he went home and proceeded to play the rest of the afternoon...when all I wanted to do was curl up on the bed and sleep.

Oh another thing happened...so I have been cutting back on sugars..only allowed fruit sugars for the month of April...and I was doing well..until Friday at the zoo when I had a 32oz icee....not good to do..it went right thru me and it was not pleasant! Holy smokes I could not get to the potty fast enough....yes...I did not make it...talk about embarrassing...I actually threw away my panties...Drazil...sorry for this...I had a dumping episode and I have never experienced that before....ever since I have been craving terrible things.  We had a birthday party the next day and I had hubby take him because I wasn't sure I could turn down the birthday cake and ice cream!
I have been reading a ton..finished a couple books and I literally jonesing for TV!  I thought the TV was bad...until I had that sugar now I am just a whiney mess wanting sugar and TV.  I guess the good thing that is coming out of this, is I have been cleaning the house and organizing..well what else do you do when you have all this free time not watching tv or EATING YUMMY SUGARY things!
So first week is down...I had the icee slip up...lets see how this week goes.
On the weight subject...I think this will be good for me as I am noticing that my clothes are fitting looser and I think I hear 100lbs down calling my name!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

WLS is NOT easy and is NOT the easy way out.

So I read a facebook post today from a few girls I follow blogs on.  I will say it made me really sad.  The girl was actually quite mad that her friend was getting WLS when clearly all she was doing was eating garbage and not moving enough.  This is the exact type of attitude from someone who does not know what they are talking about.  Yes I did get that large from not eating right and not exercising enough but it wasn't for lack of trying for about 30 years....I could drop 100lbs but I could not maintain that loss.  Losing the weight was not the problem..sustaining the loss was the problem.  I was a yo-yo dieter and that is not healthy.  I truly believe that this is not an issue for some as it is others.  I also believe when you have been overweight your whole life it is hard to keep that weight off.  I guess I don't think of WLS as the easy way...and I don't think anyone who has had it..think that.  In fact I don't know a single WLS person who believes it was easy.  The only people who think its easy are those people who don't know much about it.  Yes, there are those that gain weight back after WLS...thats because it is a tool...its not easy and requires lots of work on your part.   I spent a lot of time making the decision I did to have WLS and it hurts me when someone can be so flippant about someone elses decision....fine if you don't want to do it don't, but don't SHIT on someone elses day forcing your beliefs on them!
I am not sure why she really felt the need to rant on FB about something she really doesn't understand..it hurt my feelings.  Mainly because I LOVE her blog, she is hilarious and funny and I followed her religously...I don't think I can do that anymore.

On a side note, I am giving my buddy Elizabeth from InsidevsOutside a shout out...she is still recuperating from her surgery(got her port replaced) and the poor girl can't take pain meds..only tylenol...I heart you girl and hope you feel better soon!!!!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Weigh In Wednesday

Last Week 176
This Week 174
Total Loss 2 lbs

Well...it keeps coming off.  I am pretty stoked.  I had a not so good Easter day.  I was tight as hell.  Probably because my mom and her husband came over and I always get tight around my mom because she is judging me and watching me like a hawk.  I set up dinner to be at 2 because I am the loosest at that time and I thought I wouldn't have a problem eating...not the case...I was only able to eat a couple bites of potatos and a few bites of ham.  My mom gave me many a disapproving look.  The next day I stopped by her house to pick up some eggs and mind you I didn't have makeup on..neither did she.  She tells me I look haggard and malnutrition--REALLY...how rude.  I would never tell someone that.  She proceeds to tell me not to lose anymore that I already look sickly.  Sigh........I was bummed for most of the night but I am over it today.
On another note..I am no longer Obese..just OverWeight!  and in 10lbs I should be normal....yikes! that is exciting.
Johnny did great in his chess tournament..he only lost 1 game out of 5..the part I hated was one of the refs said he would get a trophy so we stayed for the trophy..he ended up not getting one because the quality of people he played was not high enough....why oh why could they just have not opened there mouths and said he was going to get a trophy..the let down of that was so sad to see the tears in his eyes..but he refused to cry.