Weight Tracker

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Why do Peoples Opinions Matter to Me SO MUCH!

So I had a minor meltdown yesterday.  I was talking to my mom and telling her I had made an appointment for a fill and she made the comment that she was wondering if I should, I told her my weight had stalled and I was able to eat more and not stay full as long.

She then asked how much weight I had lost(which I have told her numerous times) but I said around 30 lbs and she said "you have been doing this since February and that is all you have lost?
Do you really want to continue to do this?
You don't eat hardly anything as it is."

I was kind of stunned.

Yes I haven't lost much,
you are right I don't eat as much as I used to,
....but I think it is working it is just slow process.

You know what though---it is hard to argue with her because she is right.

In the past when I have lost weight or gone on diets I lose weight a lot quicker, BUT I always put it back on.  I keep hoping that I won't put it back on but I am not positive that it won't happen.  I am not eating as much as I used to so you would think the weight should be falling off, I don't know why it is not but it could be I am not exercising like a maniac like I used to when I diet?

I talked(texted) to MandaPanda yesterday and she reminded me that this is not gastric bypass it is not going to fly off, and by having that flipped port in the beginning it stalled my weight loss, shoot I even gained in April and it took May to take off the weight I had gained in April.

I guess it just hurts to hear out loud what I sometimes think in my head.

What was I suppose to do, throw my hands up in the air and say this is not working and go back to my yo yo dieting?

I am really trying to make this about a lifestyle change, something I can maintain and continue to do for a long period of time.  For me that is getting some exercise EVERY DAY, doesn't have to break my back or sweat buckets but at least get me moving and try to keep moving all day, make healthier food choices but something that I enjoy eating.  I don't want to eat foods I don't like, and exercise like crazy because I know I won't be able to sustain that for very long.

I did go to the gym last night and work out my frustrations, it felt great and I hope to do it again.  As for my pity party, I am trying to bring out the positive but still riding the dumps today.


Jen said...

I think your weightloss thus far is fantastic!! I am the queen of the slow losers so I can totally understand your frustrations, but keep your chin up! you are doing great and will continue to do so as you move along!

Way to go on getting into the gym!!

Banded With Favor said...

Jenn, there are times when I feel exactly the same way and I did not have a flipped port!!! July 6 it will be 6 mos since my surgery and I cant get out of the 280's!!! Too boot over the last 3 days I have gained 5 pounds and have not eaten more then 1000 calories on any of those days so go figure!!!!

I know this was the right thing to do and I know it is a process and it is going to take time, but I am no where near the 60 pounds I wanted to be... I stuck in the 40 pound loss and that is not a terrible thing, it is just not as much as I was hoping for, expecting,mand planning on. It is frustrating, and it is hard work and it does feel like I lost weight in larger quantity and faster when I would just diet....having said that I know eventually as long as I keep moving forward, eat healthy and workout the weight will have to leave.... I hate that it lingers, but I know I did the right thing!!!

Amy said...

Holy WOW. I would have totally bitten her head off. People say the strangest things. Glad you got it all out at the gym. This whole band thing is so individualized - you're doing just fine. :)

Steph said...

Ok, I have to put in my 2 cents here. I've been there, done that. I was banded in late febuary and weighed 260 or so when I had my surgery. By the end of june I was in the 30 lb down range. I was just starting to work with my trainer, I was eating less than before and I lost at a snails pace. I would lose about 5 lbs at the most a month. Then in October, everything kicked in and the weight starting falling off. I was into my groove with my trainer and I was at a point of ideal restriction. That is my story and I don't want you to compare yourself to me, but my point is asking this:

Is your mother a freakin' Lap Band surgeon? If not, why are you letting her OPINION effect your choices with your body? You have lost and kept off 30 lbs, which pre band I know I would have gained back. If you are not feeling filled and staying that way, you should consider a small fill. Yes you eat less, but THAT IS THE POINT! Who is she to judge or make comments about something she has no medical knowledge about?

it's easy to get down on yourself, but don't. I did, i compared my losses to what I perceived others would think i should have and I set myself back mentally and until I said screw it and screw what other uneducated people may feel isn't fast enough weight loss, I was able to let go and do what I KNEW was right for ME.

Do what you feel is right. We can suggest, based on our experiences, but trust yourself. Mother's don't always know best.

I was slow, but by the one year mark, I made my goals. You will too!

MandaPanda said...

What everybody else said! The weight always flew off of me right at the very beginning of a diet also. But I wasn't eating what I wanted, I was still sticking to a "diet" mentality of eating on a schedule and all that nonsense. I would usually start the diet and exercise on the same day so I would be working out like a mad woman. But it's not sustainable and that's why morbidly obese people tend to regain once they lose a significant amount of weight. THIS is sustainable. You're doing great!

Ronnie said...

I had my best weight loss (after the initial drop in weight) about 8 months after being banded, sometimes it's just a waiting game. You have to find your sweet spot and adjust to this new way of eating, etc. It's a process.

That being said, I have to ask: do you log your foods? I have been on MFP for about a year and it helps me SO much.

Rachel said...

People are mean and harsh. Each person goes through their own experience - doesn't make yours any less valid or real if you lose, gain, stabilize whatever! You are a rock star. And 30lbs is 30lbs - that is awesome!!

Steph said...

I just wanted to chime in again, because I just wanted to reiterate that you are doing great 30 lbs lost and kept off is no small feat. Celebrate those losses and like ronnie said, tracking your food on something like Myfitnesspal.com really helps see where the calories go.

Seriously, keep on keeping on. This isn't a race...this is your new, healthier life! Some of us are turtles at first, but turtles are awesome creatures (i have one tattooed on my ankle) and remember that the turtle eventually won the race. :)

Oh and pb2 is good stuff for thai cooking!

Jules said...

It is SO difficult when we feel discouraged already, reach out for support and just feel disapointed after. I'm so sorry the conversation with your mom went that way. Real progress is slow progress. Real change can't happen over night. I think 30 lbs is great! Just remember it's about a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.
Great job on going to the gym! two days in a row even! You're right, its about moving every day, just keep moving! Hugs!

Beth said...

This is a long slow process. Even though friends and loved ones usually mean well, sometimes their comments can sabotage us. You are in this for the long haul and you will get there. Trust your gut if it it is telling you that you need a fill.