Weight Tracker

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Everyones Journey is different!

You know I have to remind myself lately that everyone's journey is different.  I get pretty discouraged when I read other bloggers who say they really haven't changed anything about what they eat just in smaller portions.  I so wish that could be me.  I know I shouldn't compare but I just can't help myself sometimes.

I changed and am changing so much about myself.  I have totally changed the way I eat.  I really don't eat many carbs or sugars and try to limit my fat.  I keep my calories around 1000 in order to lose.  I don't eat out very often...even with the semi healthy choices they are usually high in sugars and if I eat out I usually don't notice a loss at all.  I have to move more.  I am such a sedentary person if given a choice.  My job is sitting all day in front of a computer.  I have to make the choice to go for a walk on my breaks...to take a break...and to do exercise in the evening of at least 3-4 days a week...more and I feel like a rock star, especially because I try to choose things that I enjoy doing so that I will continue to do them.   I monitor everything.  I record my food, exercise and lately...my water intake.  I reflect on why I am eating and try to change that bad habit of killing my emotions with food and celebrating with food and letting food be my best friend.

Which brings me to my big disappointment yesterday.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself after my doc appointment, my doctor said I am doing fabulous I had the best lost I have ever recorded there losing 12.5lbs in a month..we decided no fill and to keep going as I am doing.  He asked and I was honest saying that actually things have been pretty great since my last fill.  It doesn't seem as difficult to make good choices..the weather is cooler so I notice its easier to get in more steps a day and therefore be more active.
...then I run into the secretary at the printer..with three other developers...her and I have never really gotten along....long story but I have worked here 12 years and our office is small in my division..only around 20 of us in the office in my department and most of us have all been here a long time so we are very familiar with each other.  Well she said "You are looking great, what are you doing to lose the weight"  as I start to reply "Everything"   she raises her eyebrow and says "right, it must be a magic pill your taking"   I shake my head (not about to tell her or anyone about my band) and the other people around the printer are looking at me.  I know my smile quickly faded because she never really let me explain she just kept going on about it must be a magic pill.  I pretty much just gave up grabbed my printout and went back to my office.  Then preceded to let it bother me the rest of the day...put me in a bad mood... effectively robbed me of the personal high I was riding.  A part of me does believe there is magic..this band has allowed me to do something I couldn't have done on my own.  But I have done a lot to help because without me making changes..the band would not have gotten me where I am at.

I know I have read others of you post about not telling anyone about your band..and I really haven't either.  Yet I don't feel completely honest not mentioning it.  I know she really didn't want to hear anything I had to say and it was not the place to go into it...it just got me thinking last night and I knew I had to put it out there today and share with you my experience.  I will admit I was mad as hell at her...in my head I called her all sorts of names...but later as I reflect there was truth that she was spitting and it sometimes is hard to hear, when I am not ready to give my full story.

I do believe that at some point I will be honest and tell everyone what I did and what I had done to get to goal...because I want to be truthful in hopes that it may help someone who was in the deep dark place I was prior to surgery.  And I will remember that everyones journey is different and not the same as mine.


MandaPanda said...

That was truth she was spitting...it was venom. She's catty and an *itch and that's all there is to it. You are eating right, working out, trackign everything and working HARD for your losses. Are you using a tool to help? Yes but give me a break. A magic pill? A magic wand? WLS is neither of these. You can't let someone like that get you down. You're doing great and YOU'RE doing it...not some magic pill!

MandaPanda said...

*that was supposed to say "That WASN'T truth she was spitting." Damn typos!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

Jen, unless telling her would help her with a problem, you owed her NO explanation. NONE. Your success is your success. Let's not forget that you researched and pursued getting this solution for yourself, along with working it to your advantage each and every day. YOU and only YOU. Yes, if you have a significantly overweight person with an open heart asking for help.....tell her/him. Otherwise, you did nothing wrong by ignoring that (insert bad word) woman.

My 2 cents. I love that you are ahead of me so I can watch your progress and stay motivated...seriously, you are awesome!

tz said...

It's a hard decision to tell people...I tend to blurt things out so everyone knows about me....I have a funny story...Another mom on the swim team, who I was friendly with (we've become much closer lately) was losing a lot of weight and I asked her what she was doing and she said eating less, more protein and exercising. WHICH IS ALL TRUE....but I thought, ugh, I wanted something more...anyhow I went to a seminar for the surgeon I went to and she was on the panel. She later said she felt so bad. I thought..she's entitled to her privacy, she didn't lie, and I didn't feel lied to at all...so you are entitled to keep your privacy. The funny thing is, if someone you respected said something about a 'magic pill' it might not have bothered you as much...the problem is someone who is catty who says that is meaning you couldn't have had the strength to do this on your own..someone who is nice who says that means...wow, look how much you've lost that's great and are maybe hopeful you might share the secret to weight loss she may have not yet heard since the eating less and exercising isn't working for her much :D -- please don't let that woman bother you...you've had a great month, you are working hard -- you're working your tool, she IS a tool :D

Anna said...

I struggle a lot with the "to tell or not to tell" thing. I have told my closest friends and family members, and told them that I'm not necessarily keeping it a secret from anyone, except at work. I have no desire to let anybody at work know anything about it. It's just not their business, and they're all way too catty and annoying for me to even consider it. Maybe one day you'll share, but you don't "owe" anyone the whole story if you're not comfortable giving it. :-)

Jules said...

The magic pill is called determination and dedication. What a bitch, a jealous bitch that just wants to bring you down. Uggh.

There are always going to be people like her. always. They suck.

You're amazing & wonderful. Dont let anyone tell you different or give them the power to make you feel different.

Love you!!!

Run, Chelle, Run! said...

Yup, like Manda said, that was venom. I wouldn't have told her. And at this point in the game with the running I tend to just say "lots of running!" because most people don't really want alllll the details. But yeah, it's a frustrating thing, and there comes a lot of jealousy with it.

Cheri said...

I love that you shared this so honestly, and I love the wonderful comments others have given! I don't feel I have much more to add, except ((hug)) to you. I'm so proud of you, and inspired by you.

I agree with what others have said. I think your emotional response was a good "warning sign" from your gut, that it was not a safe place to share vulnerable information, for WHATEVER reason. Vulnerable information should be shared only when you choose to, not out of guilt or shame. And you have NOTHING to feel ashamed of!!

I like what Tina said about that. And I guess I'd add, that I find MYSELF feeling a lot more anger lately - I used to only let myself be "nice", lol. Sometimes my anger is about the other person, sometimes I think it is about ME. Either way, it's still a "warning sign" to pay attention to what is going on. But I guess that is why I liked what tz said. About how if a different person, said those same words, it would not have elicited the same feelings from you.

For ME, sometimes I think I'm having emotional reactions lately that are more about what I THINK the person thinks/feels/means....so I need to be extra careful. Maybe because I'm sensitive about things more, and for the first time allowing myself to actually express emotions like "anger" that I didn't allow myself to express in the past.

See...you being so honest gets me being all introspective!! LOL

Hope you are feeling better, and sooooo proud of how great you are doing. And while I totally agree comparison is the thief of joy...I think the disciplines you are using in your journey, the many changes you are making in your lifestyle, will serve you well not just for losing weight, but for lifelong maintenance and health - but you know that. xoxoxo

Cheri said...

p.s. like how I had nothing more to add? rotflol!!

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

It's funny because on the outside looking in on your journey - I compare my willingness to keep going to you and your journey inspires me. You're a warrior in your own right - never forget that. You are amazeballs and that girl you work with is a crotchhead. I want to shank her for you. I totally would - for you. Love you!

RockBand Barbie said...

I didn't tell anyone but family at first. After I switched jobs I started telling anyone and everyone if it happened to come up. She was just being down right mean...she's probably just hatin on you cause you are so beautiful....bless her heart.

JRD said...

You do what is right for you, period. If that's keeping your private decisions private, then that's just fine. You are on your path, you have moved and changed your life enormously, and you are continuing to move and change...that is the ONLY thing that matters. People like that woman most likely are deeply unhappy, and probably feel like they are stuck. They see you changing your life, and instead of being happy for you, they try to bring you down. I'd just stay away from her as much as you can stay away from someone who you work with! You are doing so well - keep being awesome!!!!

speck said...

For me, what I hear is, you don't want to tell anyone about the band. Not right now anyways. I don't allow anyone to change my mind because of how they made me feel with their behavior.

You know by now whether this girl has good intentions for you. Mark her off your list and don't look back.

I too, have to remind myself that each of us do things differently. My dr. told me several things not to do that I hear others doing. I just remind myself to not judge and try not to be critical of their choices.

And my band isn't a magic pill, that's for sure.

A tool? Yes, but that's it.

Love ya girl.


Momee3021 said...

I regret telling people I work with because if you keep doing well you get comments like "wow you look great I guess that band was worth it" - this comment while praising how you look takes away YOUR hard work and makes your band 'the magic pill'. If you don't do well - like me - then they are asking you in THAT tone " hows your weight loss going? (actual thought... you haven't lost any weight what a failure) in either case you give them a reason watch you and comment on your journey - a journey they don't understand - because you have let them in. It doesn't sound like she is worthy of being let in anywhere but a whore house - bless her bitchy heart (did I do that right - Traci?) You are doing great no one can take that away. Next time tell her that YES your magic pill is working but hers is obviously not. LOL ;P

Amy said...

I really hate when things like this happen. I tend to take things really personally, and when a situation arises like yours, I allow myself to get derailed. You were right to ignore her. It isn't any of her business, and you're doing GREAT!

adorkbl said...

Manda said perfectly. You worked your tush off. Ignore the byatch and don't let her rob you of your personal high.

Sarah said...

I am going to come to Arizona to kick you!!! On Tuesday, for my bandiversary, I blogged that my band had changed my life.

and you said:
Happy Bandiversary...give yourself credit too...YOU have made the new you, the band has just helped. I truly believe YOU have to want it, you just can't let the band do its thing...you have proved that with your new friends and new found confidence---You rock Sarah!

At first I thought you were wrong but as time has gone on I have begun to appreciate how right you were. I may not have done it without the band but it is a piece of silicone. It sure as hell didn't lose just shy of 40 lbs, or make new friends, or find me a new guy or go work out at the gym all those times or leave the chocolate in the shop. I did it. And you did it too. DO NOT LET SOMEBODY ROB YOU OF YOUR VICTORY!!

Sarah said...

And further more - she's a nasty ***** and you should let Drazzie loose on her. Who the hell does she think she is?????? xx

DiZneDiVa said...

The Band limits portions but it not a magic pill, that's for sure. You are exercising, watching what you eat and getting your water in. You are doing great!