Exercise...yes I am doing it!
Do I love it...no not really. When I am up on the elliptical at times I feel empowered..othertimes..I WANT OFF.
Food is pretty darn good...the scale is not moving.ughh thinking there will be no loss this week and it is not due to not trying on the exercise and diet front....body obviously doesn't want to let go this week.
I. Will. Try. Not. To. Let. It. Derail me to a cookie binge!
I was looking at myself last night in the mirror after working out and sucking in my tummy..well the tummy went in but the skin hung like a kangaroo in my pouch..kind of funny. I may just snap a photo(as lapband gal did) and show you the humor. I am proud of the skin...because hey..I removed the fluff out of it. But it does not lend to a pretty swimsuit pin up.
Worst is my legs...they are my moms legs..they are not pretty. They are short and stalky and cottage cheesy and thick Not even shorts would make them look nice..and I am talking long shorts. Thank god for spanx and lycra.
This week I make the decision to stay at our Christian School(that is moving to the strip mall this summer) or branch to a new school. Yikes...seems like a big decision. Talking to the moms last night one mom said she is going to stick with it next year and make her decision next year. Another mom said she is too she did not want to be outside her community where she runs into everyone and knows everyone at the store and sports and such. That kind of struck a cord with me. Community. I moved to Anthem because I loved the community. It was like I lived in a small town even though we are a suburb of Phoenix. I run into people I know all the time at the grocery store and quite a few of them all know Johnny. In fact I am starting to be known as Johnny's mom more than who I am (I am ok with that too) Not sure what I will do. The new school looks really cool..its a huge campus about 30min away with all the features I love (PTA, after school sports, lots of extra curricular things to do, $100 less a month in tuition) but not close. We have a book author coming to visit our school next week which is pretty neat. She is signing books and giving them a workshop on writing books and reading to them. I love this..great opportunity for the kids.
Work is busy. In fact I need to buckle down to day and scope out accounting general ledger processing so that I can code it. I hate accounting. I hate t-tables. I hate balancing. It takes me much concentration to not only understand it, but program it. That is my week this week...
Hubby and I had a really rough weekend, don't want to go into it but lets just say we are going to start seeing a marriage counselor. I have a lot of anger and I am having a hard time getting back to being a couple. I feel a little dead inside and I am not sure how to fix that. Hoping someone will be able to show me. I thought with time it would heal..but its not, I just keep piling stuff up on top of it, which further deadens it.
11 comments:
*hugs* Lots of stuff on your plate. I'm thinking of you.
Hugs to you. It always seems to be true that "when it rains, it pours." Make sure you get out and stomp in some puddles every once in a while! :)
You have a lot going on. One day at a time. Wish there was something we could do to help you.
Awww babe...I'm so sorry you're hurting. I am proud of you for seeking help from a pro. That takes courage and willingness that many never have. Keep us posted. We love you. xoxo
Ugh, I'm sorry about the issues you are going through. Sounds like a lot to deal with, but I'm glad you guys are seeking help to try to fix the problems. I'm proud of you! Let me know if you ever want to get together and just vent! I'm here for you! XOX
I hope the marriage counselor will help. You don't need so much stress at the center of your whole life. Keep exercising--it helps counterbalance stress, anxiety, and depression!
Work those inner thighs every day and do about 25 good squats every day. It's the strength training that will help that not the cardio.
Marriage is hard. This I know for sure. Love and hugs...and I miss you like crazy :-)
Girl, you are dealing with alot. Good for you for continuing to get on the beast machine, and move it out. I am thinking of you with your husband - counselling can be a huge boon to a relationship. I wish you so much luck and love...
Sorry you are dealing with so much. :( Hang in there and keep your head high. Take things day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute if need be.
Sorry to hear about the marriage stuff. I never thought marriage would be so hard. At least you're both open to counselling and hopefully it will help.
School decisions are tough, aren't they? Glad you're on point with the healthy stuff...your body will let go...just keep on keeping on.
((HUGS)) MIss you!
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