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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Passion Party

So I went to a passion party this saturday..was not looking forward to it.  It was for a new friend of mine so I did not know anyone else there....can you say AWKWARD.
Plus I hate being a fatty at one of these.  My issues in the bedroom stem a lot from my self esteem.  I feel like a fatty thru and thru.  I am hoping the weight loss will clear up some of issues but probably not...its probably another head issue I have to work thru..boy that list is long.
Also had no idea you could spend $300 on a toy...oh my that to me constitutes payments.
It was not as bad as I thougth it would be...but it was not something I would care to do again.  I did it just to support my new mom friend...also found out some intimate things about her I really did not want to know.
Maybe I am just too conservative?
I did get this cool heating pad in the shape of a hert that fits in your hand.  You just crack this dime thing floating in it and  it instantly get hot for about an hour...nice to warm your hands.  I find that I go to bed freezing and wake up sweating.  This thing helps not go to bed freezing so I don't wear 10 layers of clothes...I am one that will put on sweats and sweatshirt to bed...my hubby likes the air conditioning turned real low and in the winter the windows open....brrrrr
My dad an aunt are coming to town next weekend for my birthday...they are from Idaho so its always nice to see them.  Even though I am having surgery thursday and may not be up for much.
I have been working a bit on my head issues because I sure use food for celebrations, sorrows, happy times, sad times, hurt times....really I just think food is my best friend and it is hard to let it go and find somethimg else.  I can see why therapy may be needed.  Without food I am not sure what to do with my emotions sometimes...I get angry and I am not sure why am angry but when I really think about it its usually an emotion that I am feeling and I don't know how to express it.  I used to think I was laid back...now I just think I squwelched my emotions from coming up.  I also did not believe in talking about everything but I think I may need to go there until I find a good way to deal with my emotions...I think hubby is going to need counseling to deal with me because my emotions seem to be all over like I am always on my TOM.  Have a great Tuesday people!


Sara said...

I have been to my fair share of "fun parties" -- a friend signed me up to host one once. Totally weird since I was the only who really had never been in a long term relationship and was the host. They did some checklist thing. I think I scored a 1 out of like 50. Cannot imagine going with people I wasn't close friends with!

Lisa said...

Hey girly - I hope this surgery is quick and easy for you and gets you back on track. The head stuff happens to all of us I think. Just don't push the hubby away!! Sending you strong vibes your way!!

Jen said...

The head stuff is so hard to overcome! I used to say that it's too bad that they can't invent a lap band for your mind when you have the surgery bc you can do everything you can to work with the band but if the same mentality you had before stays with you, it's hard to make it through it! I hope the surgery goes smoothly and you get right on track with the fills and I'm sure thing will start moving in the right direction!
Oh and you are way braver than me, I would DIE at that party! I'm such a prudy patty!

Andrea said...

Good luck with your surgery!!!

DiZneDiVa said...

Thanx so much for your kind words and following my blog. I hope you go through this surgery smoothly and start getting the results you want without pain and discomfort. XOXO *M*

Michelle H. said...

I have been a consultant for Slumber Parties for over 4 yrs (and hosted/went to close to 15 parties before I started my business) and trust me, even I had issues in the bedroom that stemmed from gaining so much weight in a matter of couple of years, combined with PCOS and high blood pressure meds. Thank heavens I had access to some of the products I do because my libido was very low and I felt like I wasn't sexy enough for my husband to want in the bedroom. However, with the weight coming off, that area of my life is getting back to what it was years ago. Glad you went into it with an open mind though and I hope you realize what a great job you are doing!