Its Monday...boy glad the weekend is over!
Hubby wrecked his truck, in fact we think he totalled it...just waiting on insurance to get back to us. His tire blew going 80 mph and he lost control. Really didn't do much damage to look at but the air bag blew and I know those things aren't cheap.. The thing is the tires are new not even 6mos old, so I am curious if we have anything to fight back to the company that sold us the pirellis.
So, we have been sharing a car...oh my I hate sharing my car with my hubby. I am trying to be patient about it and he is doing his best not to get it messy but there is something about not having your car whenever you want it. I find more times now when I want to run an errand but hubby has my car or will need it shortly.
If it was warmer he could just drive that golf cart but in the AM its a bit chilly here.
I went to a CoDa meeting yesterday. That is a codependents anonymous meeting. I will say it struck a little closer to home this meeting. Partly because this week we were each given a word and had to speak on it. Mine was Directness. This is a weird one for me. I used to pride myself on being direct as a kid and teenager. In fact people used to say that I wore my feelings on my shirt. Also working in an IT field you have to be direct working with men, in order to get your point across and to not lose there attention I found that I needed to be direct. As I got older I realized being direct does not mean being a bitch. I also found I got more stuff done for me at work if I watched how I worded things. At home, I am not direct as I would like to be. Sometimes I don't feel like my hubby can handle what I have to say and when I start to talk about things that bother me, he usually gets upset and walks away. I have tried to change my delivery sometimes but I still tend to get him on the defense. I will admit that I kind of ignore it now. I don't even try.
This is wrong. Things are never going to change unless I start voicing what I feel is unacceptable. I have to think and decide what is unacceptable but I also am not sure what I feel. I have so many emotions that go thru my head that it seems hard for me to organize my thoughts as to what is the most important, let alone how to talk to my hubby about it without it turning into an argument. I will be pretty blunt here that hubby and I are lacking on the intimacy and its me and I am not sure why because I love him and I think he is handsome but it stops there. So anyway, it was a good meeting. I will go again, as I need help to sort thru my feelings and emotions and by going to these meetings..I am not ignoring it. Boy, my blog today is on something not related to food..but it is? Without food to calm me down and be my best friend, I have to sort through what I am feeling, validate it and find another friend(my hubby). I would have never thought that losing this weight would have opened up Pandora box on my emotional issues, but it sure has. As I get closer to goal...it seems to get harder and harder...maybe that is just less and less food I consume to satiate my issues.