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Monday, August 12, 2013

A little late but better than NEVER!

So I am very sorry I have been out of blog land....all I can say is that life got in the way and I just was not ready or capable of blogging.
My husband passed away on June 29...very sad.  Johnny and I were coming home from the circus and we were suppose to pick him up and go out for Pizza and then they were going to the community center to hit the water slides.  Well when I called him he had passed away that day.  They are still not 100% sure what he died from...we are waiting for the autopsy report and that could take another couple of months.  They are speculating that it was heat stroke, heat exhaustion, dehydration.  There was nothing really out of the ordinary..except it was 119 degrees out and he was found collapsed in the garage working on our golf cart.
Nothing can really prepare you for it.  We had our problems and I had even moved out but we were working on it.  I will admit I had not given up on him and I had hopes that he would get his crap together.
So I was crushed.
Johnny was crushed.
And we are still working thru our grief.  I have a feeling this is going to take quite some time.
Johnny and I moved back into the house this weekend before school started.  We were ready to get back to a routine with our own stuff.  It has been pretty good....but I will admit that I don't go in the garage and I have not driven the golf cart.  I also closed his office door and haven't dealt with anything in his office or his side of the closet...but every other facet of the house is coming back to us and has been livened up with plant s flowers and picture of Johnny and his friends(had to take down some of the pictures..not all but some)

Diet front...not really doing much
I did just start getting fills again...I am at 3cc's so no restriction..if you follow my blog I am a weird one on fills and I have been taking it slow this time so as to not do the yo-yo of fill unfill, fill because of too much of a fill.  I hope to get back close to my green zone soon...but don't anticipate it probably happening until November.

I leave you with a pic of Johnny and I from our trip just recently back to North Dakota

18 comments:

Jen said...

I'm so glad to see you posting again. I have missed you terribly!! I can't wait til us AZ girls get together soon.

Jen said...

Oh and I forgot to mention that Johnny is one lucky little fella to have you as his ROCK during these past couple of months! XXOO

RockBand Barbie said...

So happy to see you blogging. I have thought of you so very many times recently. Hugs and love :)

Elizabeth said...

Love ya!

Leigh Costa said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and Johnny.

♥ Drazil ♥ said...

I'm so sorry my love. I'm so happy to see you back here..I've missed you.

Amy said...

:) (hugs)

Lap Band Gal said...

I'm sending you lots of hugs. Hang in there. Day by day it will get better. HUGS

Sarah G said...

I am so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

Run, Chelle, Run! said...

I'm so sorry to read this news hon. I will be thinking of you all and praying that things get smoother. I can't imagine how complicated this must feel for you.

FitBy40 said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your husband. I can't even imagine how you found the strength to tell Johnny that his Dad was gone. Heartbreaking!
So glad you're back, and are hanging in there.
Keep your head up :-)

Rachel said...

Oh my goodness. I had missed your posts around here. I am so sorry for yours and Johnny's loss. My heart goes out to you. (((internet hugs)))

~Miss Lorie~ said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I just can imagine! (((HUGGS))

Sheila said...

Oh my gosh, I completely missed this post and I just want to say how sorry I am. That is awful, no matter the circumstances and my heart breaks for you both. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers and hugs.

Beth Ann said...

I am SO sorry. I can't imagine the pain. <3

Dotti Johnson said...

Welcome back, lady! Glad things are getting back to some form of normalcy. There's no rush to deal with those things so face it when you're ready.

On My Way to Size 8! said...

So sorry for your loss. I'm happy to see your post. Sending comfort your way.

Cheri said...

Oh my gosh Jenn, what a horrible shock. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss to Johnny. :-( I will keep you and Johnny in my prayers as you work through this difficult time and everything involved in living life/moving on that you have to do as the mom/surviving parent.